Some “Alternative” Presidential Candidates

Don’t like McCain or Obama?

Well, you do have other choices.

Of course, there are the more visible third-party or independent choices: Charles “Chuck” Baldwin (Constitutional), Ralph Nader (Independent), Bob Barr (Libertarian), and Cynthia McKinney (Green).

But I bet you haven’t heard of some of these other “worthy” candidates (be sure to check out the links):

Gene Amondsen, Prohibition Party (I love the video and picture — not to mention the slogan, “Vote tradition, vote prohibition!” Be sure to check out the link to Gene on the Daily Show!).

Terry L. Barkdull (pictured above, left), Independent (user discretion advised for web page link). Wake up America! Terry is taking our country back! Actually, it looks like Terry has backed out of the race because he’s not crooked or rich enough. In 2012 he might be rich enough (but not crooked). We’ll have to wait and see. For now, his site is simply a “rant site for all America.”

Santa Claus, Independent. That’s right — Jolly old Saint Nick could be the next one in the Oval Office. Apparently, Santa lives in Lake Tahoe and is a monk and a children’s advocate! Santa is the candidate for kids!

Claire Cruise, Independent. Cruise’s website features “We are the Champions” background music and the words,

Introducing PRESIDENT CLAIRE CRUISE, otherwise known as: Queen Claire Elisabeth, Pope Claire Elisabeth I, High Priestess Claire Daishonin, Her Holiness The Dalai Lama, The Prophet, The Messiah, Christ, God(dess), Allah, Savior and Leader of the Free World.

Jackson K. “Jack” Grimes, (pictured above, right), United Fascist Union. Don’t worry, the United Fascist Union “will not accept those that hate minorities, practice discrimination or that would do violent, stupid things as members.”

Robert C. “Rob” Jorgenson, Jr., Independent. Like Einstein, Rob is a Swiss German American!

Megally Z. Megally, Independent. Megally’s “choise” for VP is Obama! He also says,


I don’t know about you, but I’m convinced.

Kip Smithy, Neowhig Party. Who knew!? The Neowhig Party is “The Smart Party, For Smart People…and you.” Also, did you know …

Kip Smithy gained world renown during the 1980s as a philosopher, social theorist, and political activist, celebrated in the media as “Right Dude of the Righteous Left.” Author of many books and articles, Smithy won notoriety when he was perceived as both an influence on and fashion defender of the Parachute Pants in the United States and Europe. His theory of a “Frankie Says Relax” society provided critical perspectives on contemporary “Keep on Truckin” societies. Consequently, he became one of the most influential intellectuals in the United States during the 1980s and into the 1990s.


Da Vid, The Light Party. Da Vid, M.D., is an artist as well as the founder of the “The Light Party.” This party is a “wholistic, proactive, educational, empowerment party” that synthesizes “Republican, Democratic, Libertarian and Green Parties.” The party has “formulated a practical, synergistic 7-point program which addresses and serves to resolve our current socio-economic and ecological challenges.” I know, I know, you’re already jumping up and down! But wait until you see the graphics!

For a complete list of candidates, click here.

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10 Responses

  1. Awesome post. I feel more patriotic having read that.

    Really a shame I already voted.

  2. Did you notice that Clair Cruise lists her religion as “Mormon’?

  3. I notice that much of your positive feedback for these candidates is (rightly so) sarcastic. However, I do hope you realize that Chuck Baldwin isn’t near as cooky and fringy as the rest of these third party candidates. He is simply for a strict reading of the Constitution and limited government involvement in foreign and social affairs.

  4. Jeff,

    I definitely realize that the third-party and independent candidates like Baldwin, McKinney, Nader, and Barr are not “cooky and fringy” like the candidates I spotlighted are. Actually, the same is the case for dozens and dozens of virtually unknown independent and third-party candidates who have positions that are much more well-reasoned and professional.

  5. I like this post. Nice job, Dennis.

  6. “I definitely realize that the third-party and independent candidates like Baldwin, McKinney, Nader, and Barr are not “cooky and fringy” like the candidates I spotlighted are.”

    Umm, I’d say Mckinney is pretty darn loony. She buys into a lot conspiracy theories.

  7. David,

    I’m not too familiar with McKinney. Maybe you’re right. She does have a lot of legitimate political experience, however (several terms in the U.S. House, if I recall correctly) — which definitely puts her on a different level than the people I’ve spotlighted in this post.

  8. Christopher,

    Did you notice that Clair Cruise lists her religion as “Mormon’?

    I didn’t notice that, actually. Looks like there is a Mormon choice for President after all!

  9. Politics DMZ

    The Situation In Iran:

    If we look at the Middle East on a world map Afghanistan, Iran & Iraq look like squares on a checkered board lined up side by side in a neat row. This is the spot where the oil barons have dreamed of laying a pipeline at least so far back as RED Ronny Ray-guns liberal Bolshevik regime. Given the inclinations of ruthless Geo-politics practiced by globalist mega bankers, one can reasonably deduce the USA has targeted Iran as the next nation-state they intend to take down in their expanding campaign to loot, plunder and rape oil rich regions in the name of consumer greed.

    Therefore, the United Fascist Union’s official position on developments in Iran is, as baby Bush’s unprovoked wars of aggression against helpless nation-states became more and more unpopular with the masses, the 0z manufacturing team decided more covert methods of achieving their agenda shackling Iran to the globalist agenda were called for. Thus, the lipstick revolution will be exploited be 0bama’s obamaNATION as a pretext to send in US troops as Peace Keepers to restore order and maintain the rule of law, to say nothing of STEALING IRAN’S OIL!

    Hail Grimes!

    Ms. Heather Goldsmith
    Minister of Propaganda & Enlightenment
    Of the United Fascist Union

  10. Normally, I would delete the above comment from Heather Goldsmith because of its irrelevancy. But it’s simply too amusing to do so.

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